The choice is yours 

I think at the end of the day life boils down to being a series of choices, the salad or the Big Mac, college or trade school, marriage or a single life, swipe left or swipe right, say yes or say no. A choice is always available to you, even if it doesn’t feel that way, even if it’s not your ideal choice.
I don’t think that choices can be right or wrong or good or bad ( I’m not talking about choices like murder here by the way). I know that’s a revolutionary thing to say given we live in a time where the value of everything is qualified by likes and views. We keep a running tally of the approval of strangers over our decisions in the form of hearts or thumbs up…. and then we decide if the choice was good or bad. “200 people like my status about politics, I must be right.” To me though, that seems like a dangerous road- to gauge the value of our choices based on their popularity. 
Our lives are incredibly personal. Yes, we are interconnected with others and there are intricate dynamics between one and their friends and family, work associates, peers, loved ones and sometimes even strangers on the street. Ultimately though, your life is your own and no one else’s. The choices you make must reflect what is in your own heart and I think in order to truly be in touch with our own destiny we need to strip away the desire to label everything with a thumbs up or a thumbs down.
What if the choices were just choices? What if it didn’t matter what road you went down as long as you went in kindness and love. What if in the end, we find that all these roads lead to the same place? Wouldn’t that make all the time spent arguing over “the right road” seem pointless?
I don’t believe that we get a finite number of chances. I think we are all being called toward something… and we are being led to it, one choice at a time. With each decision we are being taught lessons that will shape us into the people we need to be to fulfill this calling. No time is actually wasted. Surely there are short cuts and round-a-bouts and long way arounds….but if you’re enjoying the journey then those minor things don’t matter so much. 
People come to me sometimes and say ” I made this horrible choice and I’ve ruined my whole life.” I get it, I know how in moments life can feel that way. Like you made a single choice and it just destroyed everything – but look at it this way, if one choice is strong enough to destroy you, then surely one choice is strong enough to save you- so you’re always one choice away from a brand new reality. Even in your darkest moments, you are one choice away from the light. It’s not always easy to make choices, I understand that feeling of powerlessness. I assure you though, that feeling is an illusion – created by doubt and fear.
You have all the power of the universe inside you. You must acknowledge that and not fear it. Lead with you heart and control your mind, silence the voice that says “I can’t” or “I’m not good enough” and make a new choice. You control your life- and in every moment you have the power to direct your path. 
My path calls me to travel. As a teenager I suffered with anxiety that literally crippled me- made me afraid to live my life. I wouldn’t even ride the school bus and now I fly all the time to far away lands that I’d only ever dreamt about or saw on the pages of my history books. I don’t want to be confined to only see and experience life from one place. I want to go into the unknown and see culture, religion, family, love… I want to see what it looks like to people through their eyes, on their soil, in their truth. 
I’ve searched far and wide to see what it is that people value. I’ve spoken to people in all walks of life on almost every continent and asked them about their life. I’ve sat in their homes, met their children, attended their weddings, taught them, learned from them and laughed with them around tables full of exotic foods. 
And What I’ve discovered is this: Though it looks different to us all on the surface deep down it’s all exactly the same. The way we love, marry, pray, laugh, mourn, fail- The customs are different, the language is different, the scenery is different; but the values and the goals, the fundamental truths are all the same. 
Last week I watched a wedding in Romania and three months ago I sat at dinner with my friends and their new baby in Israel and between that I danced with Maasai women in their village in Tanzania… all different moments in so many ways, all so incredibly similar and deeply connected through a very common thread. Love. 
We all want the same thing- to love and be loved, to know God, to find peace, to feel free. How we seek it doesn’t matter, so long as we find it. The most important thing to do is to pay attention. Whether you make a choice that calls you to the other side of the world or to your own backyard you won’t see what your meant to see unless your looking for it. 
I had a flight cancellation on my last trip that led me to an unexpected day in Warsaw, Poland. I hadn’t been there in a couple of years but oddly enough I remembered the streets in Old Town like I had lived there all my life. I followed one street down to a church that I remembered loving. A church that’s not particularly ornate but stands in such a way that it catches sunlight and looks like it’s on fire. It’s such an incredibly beautiful thing to see.
I walked about a mile to get back to this church, I didn’t want to leave Poland without seeing it again. Why? I don’t know exactly. Maybe it was a desire to be standing in the same spot I stood in years before and to feel the difference. Sometimes there is healing in that, sometimes there is heartbreak – this time maybe it was a little bit of both. 
When I approached the church I stood quietly in front of it, thought about the last time I stood in that exact spot… about where time had taken me since then and about how I had been led back to this spot at this moment in my life. I began to feel a sense of loss- loss of the life I had 2 years ago maybe, loss of the person I was or just loss of the time- of people I loved- or maybe some combination of all of those things. 
Then out of the corner of my eye I saw two women on a bench. One was a nun and the other was a young woman, clearly battling cancer, she had lost her hair to the fight and had her head wrapped in a pretty blue scarf that reminded me of the ones my mom used when she battled cancer a few years ago. The woman with the pretty blue scarf on her head as crying and the nun was listening. 
After some time, the nun took the crying woman’s hand and spoke to her, calmed her and I felt it calm me. I felt a sense of loss again but this time for that poor woman in the pretty blue head wrap who felt so much pain. I went inside the church and prayed for peace for her, and in the process found peace for myself. 
I saw someone else’s grief, a stranger who didn’t look like me, live on the same continent or speak the same language as I do- but I understood her and I recognized it. I saw myself in it, I saw my mother in it and how I would hold her hand that way while she was in her battle. Clear as day I understood the purpose of this choice, of this moment, of the series of choices that led me back to that single location on this great big earth. The purpose was to remind me that we are all connected – we are all in search of the same thing and that we must make choices. We most choose to follow our intuition, to ask for help, to find new love, to find God, to be kind. We must take a deep breath, decide and then go forward with eyes and hearts wide open. 

May 22nd 2017

May 25th 2015

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “The choice is yours 

  1. You are such a wonderful person, my name is Thobeka Mdlalose I’m from south Africa, when I was reading this my heart just got healed because there were so many things in my life that caused me pain when I was growing up, but this just healed me, I don’t know you but I can say you are such an amazing lady, thanks for sharing your life with us, we really need people like you in this world, I love your work keep doing the right thing, you know by just living your life, some people’s lives are being changed through you, love you my sister ❤✌

  2. You are such a wonderful person, my name is Thobeka Mdlalose I’m from south Africa, when I was reading this my heart just got healed because there were so many things in my life that caused me pain when I was growing up, but this just healed me, I don’t know you but I can say you are such an amazing lady, thanks for sharing your life with us, we really need people like you in this world, I love your work keep doing the right thing, you know by just living your life, some people’s lives are being changed through you, love you my sister ❤✌

  3. Dana – you’re a special human! You get it and that’s what I love about reading your blog. You get it – the love and healing in your experiences, the value from meeting new people, travelling to new places, feeling new truths, touching peoples hearts by holding their hands and teaching them a new skill, understanding the lesson you need to learn, cherishing that lesson and sharing that with the rest of us. You are talented, you are amazing, you are big enough to share that with the world – you are a special human – one that grows everyday by sharing, touching, feeling, teaching and experiencing – never losing the lesson. Keep going girl – you’re doing it right!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s