The Wrong Lens

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see? Do you find more flaws then strengths? Do you fixate on things that you want to “change” or wish were different? “I have fat thighs..” “my hair is flat…” “my nose is too big..”

When you meet someone new, do you judge them? If so, on what basis? What they are wearing? Their accent? Do you worry about trusting new people and automatically assume the worst?

When you find more negative than positive in yourself and in others, make no mistake- the problem is not with your body, physical appearance or with any one else… the problem is with your mind. Having a negative state of mind is like having the wrong lens on a camera. You can see something through it, but nothing is clear or properly represented. If you were faced with a cloudy outlook in photography you would simply change the lens. When we are faced with similar problems in life however, we tend to change the blame instead of the lens. “If only I were 5 pounds thinner” “If only my boyfriend was more romantic”….then everything would be fine. But here’s the rub… when you have a bad attitude.. there is no magic pill. Even if you lost 5 pounds and your boyfriend became the most romantic man in the world… you’d find something new to hate and obsess over. You cannot be happy or grateful when your mind is negative.

Your life is a reflection of your outlook, so to change your circumstance you need to simply change your thoughts about your circumstance. And yes, I said simply. People love to overcomplicate the simplest things. Change is not any more difficult than be stagnant and miserable, yet when the choice is change or remain the same, even if same means a state of perpetual dissatisfaction with one’s life, people generally choose remain the same. 

Is it easy to constantly be unhappy, never feel fulfilled and always wish you looked different, or felt different or had a different job? I don’t think so. The mental and emotional stress of unhappiness is far more difficult to bear than the “burden” of change. Negativity is misdirected energy. All you need is a re-route from your energy GPS. 


The next time you look at yourself in the mirror, do this: Say, out loud, 3 things you LOVE about yourself– then walk away like Beyonce and be DONE with it. If you find your negative voice creep back in and you hear that “but your lovehandles…” whisper in the back of your mind.. tell it to shut up and remember that you are beautiful.

Every one of us is different, unique and perfectly imperfect. Accept yourself and accept others. Learn that negativity is the reflection of a closed mind and a closed mind is the same as a closed door, it can receive nothing. Life is about being open. Being open to being in love, or being hurt, being successful or failing. Being open to receiving all the love and beauty this world has to offer to us. It is so important to be open to others and how they can affect your life and how you can affect theirs. If you can learn to live above judgment, judgment of yourself and judgment of others, you can begin to accept all the amazing things that life has in store.


Remember that there is no “right way.” There is no right way to look or feel or live your life. Strive to be a good person, to inspire others, to live your big dreams and aspire to be a happy human being.. and just remember, when things are looking bleak and fuzzy- it’s time to adjust your lens.


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